3 years, 3 months and 3 days into Swimming every day .......
in freezing Ireland.
All my life I would dip in the summer.
Then 2017, I started taking a weekly dip right through the winter...
2020 after the postcode lottery of living in Belfast during the lockdown,
I could not get to the water.
The police were on the road fining people who drove more than 5 miles.
I could not afford a fine.
I watched every second on the clock of lost listful time,
pinning for the water.
I went in again on my birthday.
It was heaven.
June 2020, I started dipping EVERYDAY .....
I have a spine defect from birth that is small and not visible but has caused me much pain and a
the constant battle to stay in balance and keep carrying and playing that harp.
I could have paid a mortgage on the amount of money I spent on treatments.
I have a team of people I rely on, to keep mobile and working.
It is always painful getting down in the freezing sea
That moment when your feet hit the cold
then your knees
Then
as you immerse
the urge to run away
resist
the plunge.
I always gasp, some scream, some jump
I ease in.
The first minute is unbearable.
It's like knives and glass stabbing but something happens in the brain.
Firstly, the normal pain is relieved by a cold sensation of pain everywhere
then I forget the body
You become the nature
You expand
I become the sea
I become the sky
Bigger than my wee self
Merging
in an explosion
the sky
the energy of waves
the absorption of colour
the mood of the sea
teal emerald aqua silver gold peach purple violet black
diamond light codes glisten
as gold and silver sun rays hit choppy waters
in the waves
in the calm
in the storms
soft rain
in the sun
in the wind
I become one with the earth
Earth, fire, air, water, are the elements
and mine is to be emersed in the most flowing of elements
to merge with the millions of drops and expand into the sky
to float
in the water.
I turn on my back
relax my limbs
surrender
ease the back of my head to the cold.
The well of wishes, at the back of the head which calls the ancestors
energies of spiritual connection
people
fish
dreams
soft cottonwool clouds
and chemtrailed Skys
hurts surface and release
the death of a loved one
A painful betrayal
A battle that rages on
whisps of conversations that echo in the mind
everything dissolves
I watch the sky
I close my eyes
I am floating in the sky
weightless
in a comfort black beyond the body.
1 second has passed,
but it felt eternal.
the mood of the stars that cannot be seen
but is absorbed
and observed by the subtle body
the mood of the sea is ever-changing
yet always many colours
I started painting
the clouds that shift
the rainbow that hits
the light that falls in pools
the water
everchanging in its flow
the sound of the waves breathing on the shore
the creativity that ebbs in and out
prisms of light that bounce, sparkle and heal
and the tingling burn and wild euphoria that floods the senses
as you emerge, from the water
always fresh.
there are so many factors to the perfect swim
the light, the time, the tide
the instinct of listening to when the water calls
The sea looks one colour from the beach
but another when you are in
it is always a more metallic shade of vibrant.
the sea
the water
the earth
the air
Oh dear me
Oh deara Oh deara dearie me
What are we too do?
Who is polluting Ireland's waters?
and Why?
It's breaking my heart
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